brouhaha n. the confused noise of many voices

Sunday, October 23, 2005

I just happened to a shop besides Nal Stop traffic booth today. For those of you who don't know it, it is probably the Traffic Police's biggest single source of income. Their primary targets ? Those innocent souls who forget that there is no open left at Nal Stop.

Anyways, I was observing the police catch those unsuspecting and sometimes overzealous souls and how they handled them. Here's some quick calculations :

1. The Nal Stop signal has a cycle time of 90 seconds.
2. During one single cycle the police catch on average of 8-10 people.
3. Being very modest and considering the fluctuations in traffic, lets assume that 6 people are caught by the police.
4. Now, from what I remember; the fine for breaking a signal is Rs. 100. Of course we all know that we can get away by paying the cop 50 bucks n forgetting about the receipt.
5. So we have 6 people paying the cops 50 bucks every 90 seconds which go straight into their pockets.
6. Now, being very very generous lets assume that 2 out of every 6 people insist on a receipt.
7. So we end up with 4 people paying the cops 200 bucks every 90 seconds.
8. That's 200 x 40= 8000 bucks every hour.
9. Assume that the cops are on duty for 12 hrs a day. That's 8000 x 12 = Rs. 96,000 a day.
10. So over a period of one month, they earn 96000 x 30 = Rs. 28,80,000 a month.
11. On average there are 3 cops on duty at Nal Stop every day, so they each earn 2880000 / 3 = 9,60,000 a month.
12. So, we have traffic cops now who earn 10 lakh rupees a month. Which makes an annual package of 1.2 crores.

Now, if one wishes to join the Traffic Police all training,lodging and boarding is free provided you meet the fitness criteria. And their highest Indian package that I know off is 1.2 crores.

So here's the clincher. Why would anyone want to do a MBA in IIPM which after a yearly fee of Rs. 7.5 lakhs could only manage a international highest package of 36 lakhs and a national one of 8.5 lakhs ? Put 1% of those 7.5 lakhs into a gym instead and become a traffic cop ! Also, sue me IIPM !


Thursday, October 20, 2005

In response to the kobra's Guess who "blogs" too.. Bipasha Basu is fine mate, but Pete Townshend is better. Thought I better do a blogroll expansion for once, especially since people started sending me links to the blog that I'd found in the first place...


Saturday, October 08, 2005

How to get to SCOE or 'My Daily Commute'

1. Get on Sinhgad Road. Avoid being hit by buses that obey no signals, they could kill you.
2. Realise that there is a gaping 10'x10' hole in road where a bridge should be. Use road created on the side. Avoid being maimed by the iron rods sticking out on the side as far as possible. They could kill you.
3. Realise that the road is just too crowded. Duck into the sidelane which is a shortcut. Avoid hitting the LPG cylinder laden truck head on. The driver might not like it.
4. Avoid hitting pole standing in the middle of the 4 feet wide shortcut.
5. Notice the cat's eye in the road. Realise that its a bull's hoof, not a cat's eye. Also realise that it has the remaining bull attached to it. Avoid being impaled by the horns.
6. Preferably do not drive straight in to the water canal. Take the inhuman turn and use the road that runs beside it.
7. Avoid hitting more MSEB poles in the middle of the pole.
8. Avoid hitting stray poultry running in the road. They cost thrice as much as they think you do. Also, the fall might hurl you into the canal. Slight chance of death foreseen.
9. Drive over the mix of bumps and troughs you see on your left. Yes that is the road. Note that it may kill you.
10. You have almost reached my college. Drive onto the ramp that you think would never lead up to the parking. It leads to the parking.
11. Climb up the steep slope. Do not be alarmed by the chunks of road lying 5 feet below their actual position. Do remember that a fall here may kill you.
12. Remember, the beauty always lies in the flaws. You have reached my college. Also, it might kill you.

N.B. Avoid any seemingly harmless potholes in the road. They might not kill you, but they have been known to swallow more than half a bike in.


Wednesday, October 05, 2005

5 things I'd like to see written on t-shirts :

1. Impressive, but how big is your dick ?
2. As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart.
3. Engineering : Because Murphy's Law needs proof.
4. 50,000 monkeys at 50,000 typewriters produced this slogan.
5. Mum said no messages on my t-shirt. I said fuck off !


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Name : Anish Bhatt
Location : Pune

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